I do not overwhelm myself with life’s problems, and how much more work needs to be done. I let myself be comforted in knowing that my life is now in the hands of my Higher Power, a master craftsman who is shaping each part of my life into a unique work of art.
- from July 1 entry Daily Reflections
I read these words this morning from today's Daily Reflections entry, much later than I usually do, much later than I had planned to, much later than I wanted to. As I write this, it's almost 11:30 Am, and I am at least a couple of hours behind schedule. It's been one of those mornings. It's been a wonderful morning. If those last two sentences seem contradictory, they are in a way.
This has been the kind of morning that I usually find myself irritable and frustrated, the kind of morning that starts the day off all kinds of wrong, and I have to struggle to reset the day and my attitude. First, I slept poorly and woke far too early. But I didn't get up. I felt groggy and miserable. I rolled back over and went back to a restless sleep. Way too quickly after that, my alarm went off. Leah had risen early, also unable to rest this morning but smart enough to just go ahead and get up. So, I wasn't worried about her being late and after hitting the snooze button twice, I simply turned the alarm off. Five minutes and an hour after the time my alarm was set, I forced myself out of bed. I could barely walk and couldn't see worth a flip. This was the worst my eyes have been in the morning in weeks.
Then I couldn't find my glasses. They weren't where I always set them at night so that I can find them easily by feel. Already over an hour behind on the day and blind, I gave up and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the start of the day and my morning devotions. I looked again for my glasses after putting on my comfy PJs to lounge in and finally found them. I kissed Leah good morning and sat down at the computer to read. The next couple of hours were spent trying to pray, doing the various reading of Scripture and devotions that I do in the mornings and with interruptions, lots and lots of interruptions. Any and every time I began to get to that place where I like to go spiritually to spend some time with God and set my attitude and tone for the day, interruption. I felt yanked back into the harshness of the day. I couldn't get settled. I couldn't find peace. On top of the frustration of wanting to enter my quiet place in the awareness of the presence of God sat the feeling of being behind, of running late, and the fight within myself not to rush through this important time in my day so that I could get on with all the things that needed to get done today.
I cried out to God for grace. I hoped for an answer to prayer that would be something along the lines of time slowing down so that I wouldn't get further behind and for the interruptions to miraculously cease. Instead I heard the Holy Spirit say, "Chill." Yes, God talks to me, and yes, sometimes He tells me to chill. Sometimes He tells me to shut up and listen. He speaks so that we can hear, and while these words might not work for you, they are sometimes just what I need to hear to get me out of self and quiet enough to hear the rest of what He wants to tell me.
In II Kings there is a story of Elijah facing an army of enemies. His servant is freaking out, and Elijah calmly asks the Lord to open the eyes of the servant. God grants the request, and the servant sees the hand of God at work and angels all around. Things looked a lot different from God's perspective then from what the servant had been seeing. It felt a little like that for me as I stopped fretting long enough for the Holy Spirit to open my eyes.
One of the main and most frequent interruptions was actually an answer to prayer, a chance to minister and be of service. What better time than when I had already begun immersing myself in the Word? I was better able to check my reactions and let the Spirit guide my words because I was already trying so hard to access that place of awareness of the Spirit. Thank you Lord.
Another came when I opened the door for it. I had missed a text this morning due to my ringer being off. I noticed it when I grabbed my phone to have it handy in case Leah, who had already left, needed to reach me. It had been over an hour and a half since the text had come through, so I felt obligated to respond then instead of waiting until I finished devotions. Suddenly a conversation started. Every few minutes, as I tried to read, my phone would go off. It was a trivial conversation on the surface and breaking my train of thought. I started to send a text asking if we could talk more once I had completed my morning time, when, just a few moments after realizing the other interruption was a chance for service and not an intrusion, the Spirit stopped me. It occurred to me that this trivial conversation was exactly the kind of thing I had been hoping to have happen and praying for years to happen. It wasn't an intrusion or an interruption. It was a blessing and an answer to prayer.
Some of Jesus' most awesome encounters with people during His physical ministry on earth came when He as busy going other places and was stopped, interrupted, called to deviate from the day's agenda. Heading somewhere He would hear the cry of, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" He would stop and someone's life would be changed. Maybe He was five minutes or an hour later getting where He needed to go, where the Father had told Him to go, but He was also doing the work of the Father, giving love and being of service to the people Daddy had sent Him to help. The agenda can wait. The plans can change. The Spirit knows better how the time is to be spent, even when the agenda is set in service to God.
I had been struggling to enter into an awareness of the presence of God, and then getting frustrated by an interruption I had started (that I had instigated, which frustrated me more than the interruption I think), until God showed me that the very thing I was fretting over was evidence of His presence and the restoration work He's being doing. I nearly wept with joy and gratitude. I suddenly realized my agenda, my plans didn't matter. There was nothing that still couldn't get done by grace, or, if it wasn't done, it wouldn't matter on the eternal scale of things. I had found that awareness of the presence of God in my life and my morning I had been seeking. It wasn't because I finally found the freedom to engage my routine. It was precisely because the routine had been shattered.
God is a Master Artist. and He's making something beautiful that we can see, feel and be a part of if we are willing to let our plans, our routines, our agendas be shattered. We don't have to be overwhelmed by what we feel needs to be done. What truly needs to be done will be done. God never fails to meet our needs, and therefore will never lead us away from what needs to be done. But sometimes what we feel desperately needs to be done now can wait or doesn't actually need to be done at all. A few minutes after I finally reached this understanding in my spirit, I read the devotion with the above quote. It's always nice to receive a confirmation of what the Spirit is saying to you, and since we are called to freely give what we have freely received, I knew today's Moment would be my sharing this.
Today, let us relax our grips on the to-do list, on our plans and on our agendas. Let us be open to be flexible to what the Spirit wants to do in our lives and through our lives. And let us pray that we can see the horizon through the eyes of the spirit rather than the material so that we can always be aware of the hand of God at work and not be overwhelmed by all the things that seem to be in the way or coming against us. Most of all, let us never forget that we live our lives in the presence of God, whether we are aware of it or not, with or without conscious contact He is there, and let us be ever grateful for that truth.
Today's Unshackled Echo was previously published on
June 29, 2016.
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