Unshackled Moments ~ July 18, 2018 ~ Spiritual Vampirism

I've been watching some tattoo themed television with Leah lately, and, as it often does, it caused me to think of ink I want to get, ink I used to want to get and ink I want to get covered up. One of the tattoos that would fit in the middle category is a Do Not Resuscitate order. I used to want a DNR tattooed on my chest. Even worse than the idea of being revived and robbed of finally being able to die was the fear of being confined to a bed and being alive because of life support. Yet, the majority of my misery and pain came from trying to live on the wrong life support system.

I'm not talking about the chemicals I used and became a slave to. Those were my cure, or rather my attempt at a cure, for the pain that came when my life support system failed to work. There is no such thing as a truly happy hermit. We were made for relationship and to be a part of. A part of family and community. Even outcasts and loners will gravitate to another of like mind or situation, because when we don't or can't belong we will make our own community and redefine family or we will work diligently to deceive ourselves into believing we are OK without them until the weight of loneliness and despair crushes us into dust made up of bitterness, misery and hate.

There is a reason that hospitals use machines to maintain life support when a person can't function on their own. While a human being, or a team of them, can do CPR and do things to keep the heart beating and force oxygen into the lungs for a while, it won't work for any serious length of time. For one thing, it's not as efficient as an electrical signal to the heart and a tube of air in the lungs. For another, it's simply not practical or healthy to have one person whose life and purpose has been reduced to standing by another's bedside and breathing for them.

This is not only true with physical illness but with soul sickness as well. I can't be anyone else's source. I can't breathe for you. And if I try to get my life support from you it will fail and fall short. I know, I tried to have a life worth living by plugging into others for years. The desire for a DNR tattoo is the best proof I know of how well that worked for me, especially if I tell the truth about how I came up with the idea for the tattoo after an ER team so rudely refused to let me leave life behind after an intentional overdose.

I learned that I can't live as though another person is there to be my life support. I can't plug into a person to be the air I breathe or the answer to all my pain and inability to function. Sure, a person can help in a crisis, but they are neither equipped nor qualified to be my full-time lifeline.

The weight of these unrealistic expectations about acceptance, comfort, security and pure love from others will crush both the one who expects it and the one who is being expected to play a role they were never created to play. As I said earlier, we need relationship. We were created for it. So I am not saying it is bad or wrong or unrealistic to need people. But the reason that it is said that expectations are resentments under construction is because some of our biggest disappointments are caused from people failing to meet our expectations. And looking for people to be our ever present help in time of need is selfishness. It is constantly saying my need, my pain, my fear is more important than your life, so I should be able to tap into, and even deplete, your life to make mine better. It's spiritual vampirism, and it needs a wooden stake through the heart. Or more accurately, it needs to be nailed to the wood of the cross.

The truth is that while it is not good for us to be alone and isolated and we are designed for community, family and relationships, the first relationship that is required for all others to be healthy and right and serve their proper purpose is the relationship with our Creator, our Heavenly Daddy. Connecting with Him is our true primary purpose. So the question becomes are we approaching life looking for our fullness in Him and our life support from Him? Or do we look to people for our deepest needs to be accepted, cared for, blessed and loved? Do we look to people to be the air we breathe or do we accept and live that it is in Him we live and move and have our being?

When we live from the place of fullness in God, we still need people. We still need to be a part of. But we are a part of relationship from a position of power. We are loved as we are, regardless of the good or bad reactions of a few or many. We are not coming into relationship from a position of desperation and need. The more we let the Spirit fill us with His love, the less we are filled with selfishness that sucks the life from others. The less we reach for anyone and anything to at least temporarily fill that longing for love and acceptance.


This site is free. If this blessed, helped and or informed you, the best thing you can do is pass it on via the social buttons below. And please subscribe or follow Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.

Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments, the weekly Unshackled Echo and or listens to the Audio Messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them on social media, commented on the blog or replied to an email subscription. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions and sermons to more people by sharing this? Hitting the share button or forwarding this to a friend will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.