Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Step 11
I love and value this step. My primary purpose is not to help those who suffer from bondage and addiction, any and all I encounter who still suffer because of a lack of relationship with Daddy. That may be the primary purpose of various groups of people I associate and or worship with, but it is not my individual primary purpose. It can't be. It is only by seeking deeper and more meaningful relationship with my Daddy that any other responsibility or purpose can be done to its proper fullness. If God is not first in my life, I can't help you. To be honest, if God is not first, most times I'd rather do something else than try to help you.
If God is not first, I become first. When I slip into selfishness and self-centeredness I do not have any desire to do anything that involves sacrifice or inconvenience. I just don't. So improving my conscious contact with my Creator benefits every area of my life, not just my personal spiritual health and my recovery. Prayer and meditation is a major part of the foundation of relationship with God.
I have taken issue in the past with the phrase above that we pray only for His will for us and the power to carry that out though. I think it often is said out of fear of slipping back into self and trying to use God like a genie in a bottle. It is God's will that we bring Him the desires of our heart. Philippians 4 tells us that in everything we are to make our requests known to God. This is part of His will for us, to understand that He is our Daddy and that He loves us, so we can walk boldly into His presence and tell Him what we want, as we would with an earthly father that we know cares about us and has the resources to give to us. So, please, offer your desires to your Daddy.
That said, and I still stand by that, I also see where this idea of praying only for His will and the power to carry that out is also a response to an improper attitude and way to pray that is prevalent in religion. We tend to pray backwards. There is a teaching that basically tells us to take what we want to Daddy and make Him do what we want Him to do. We walk boldly, perhaps in this situation too boldly, into the throne room of the King of Kings and Lord of all, and demand that He do what we want, the way we want, in the when that we want. If we can conjure up enough faith then God ceases to be Lord and becomes our servant under obligation to work our will.
No. This must not be our approach. This is not following Christ. It is turning prayer into spell casting. We do not bend God's will to ours. We bend our will, by the grace and power of the Spirit, to His. It is God's will that we take our requests and desires to Him. But like Jesus in the Garden, we surrender our will to His and the desire of our heart, if not our words, becomes but whatever You want and know is best. Not my will but Yours Daddy.
Praying that we receive something if it is in His will for us is not hedging our bets, giving us an out to still believe in case He doesn't answer, or a lack of faith. It is following the Spirit and example of Christ. Daddy, if there is some other way than this suffering I would really appreciate being able to do it the easier way, but if not, let Your will be done. It's not being afraid that Daddy doesn't really love us enough to care about what we are going through and to make it all better and more comfortable. It's understanding that He is our Daddy who loves us and also knows best. His will is always going to be what brings us closer to Him and transforms us more into His likeness, what will make us more spiritually healthy and increase life. Life in us and life in others.
I remember as a child being exposed to Hepatitis and being taken by my Dad to the doctor for a shot with a very big needle. Um, I would rather not, thank you. This is going to hurt. Can we not do this? But Dad loves me, and he knew that it was much better for me to hurt a little in the short term and stay healthy than to skip the suffering of the short term and risk losing my liver and shortening my life. This is love. Daddy loves us and cares about us. He empathizes with our sorrow and suffering. That's why the Holy Spirit is also called the Comforter. You can't comfort someone if you don't care about what they are going through. But while He will hold us and comfort us and be with us through the Valley of the Shadow, we still sometimes have to go through the struggle. It's not a lack of love. It's perfect love that understand what is going on and what is needed more than we can from the limited perspective of our fear and pain in the midst of our circumstances.
Daddy, I have things I want and believe I need. I ask for those things from You out of obedience to take what I desire to You. But I trust that You love me and will do what is needed to accomplish Your good work in my life and to enable me to be a beacon for Your love and glory to others. Help me, as I rise from here, to do Your will always. I submit my will to Yours and offer myself to You, the good and the bad, that You may have Your way in my life, knowing that Your will is always for my good and never for my ill. Amen.
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