My study has a fan that blows on me, but I can't put a window unit in it. It also happens to be the hottest room in the house for some reason, even with the fan going. I'm not complaining. It's a choice that I can live with as long as the fan is blowing on me and I have plenty of water to drink. I only mention all of this only so that the following will make sense.
Yesterday afternoon I went to the study while Leah walked on her treadmill. When I came out of the study into the living room I felt quite a bit cooler. It actually felt good in the living room. I walked through the living room into the bedroom, and it felt great. Nice and cool. Then I realized I forgot my phone charger and walked back into the living room. After less than a minute in the coldest room in the house, what had felt good now felt horrible. The living room felt so much hotter than it had literally less than a minute. Nothing had changed except the conditions in which I had been.
So, what's the point? The point, Dear Reader is that our spiritual lives are similar. When we first come to the place of surrender to the will and care of God with the desperation of a drowning man, our lives are messed up. Things get better. We find freedom and feel good. But as we continue to progress closer and deeper in relationship and conscious contact with our Creator, we become more and more accustomed to the effects of His presence in our life. In the presence of God is the best, most comfortable place to be. If we then return to even the area we just left, that which was progress yesterday but now is regress, we will be uncomfortable. What felt good before, because it was better and more right than where we'd been, now feels worse.
Now, we all have times when we feel the presence of God more and other times when we feel it less. That's why we walk by faith and not by emotions. As a dear minister friend, Don Hurley, used to say, we don't go on what we're feeling, but it's nice to know feel what you're going on. But I'm thinking about those times when something that felt OK or even good stops feeling good and starts making you uncomfortable. It's not a sign that you're being judged by the Spirit or that you're messing up. It's a positive demonstration of progress. Don't beat yourself up for regressing, just recognize it and head back into the place you were in before, that place that is better, the presence of God, and spend some time with him.
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