Unshackled Moments ~ July 25, 2018 ~ Changing Direction Is Not Enough

I have said and have heard it said that repentance means to turn from sin, to change our direction, way and mind. But upon reflection I realize that definition is incomplete. It's not enough. I look back over the years of one step forward and a hundred steps back and realize that under that definition I repented repeatedly. It never lasted and never produced any significant change in my heart or life. I have spoken with enough people who have struggled to walk with God, to walk free from the bondage of sin and addiction to know that I am not unique in this.

No, repentance under that simple definition is extremely lacking. The reason repentance failed for me over and over is that it relied on me. I saw the horrible consequences of my choices and actions and knew something had to change. I needed to get right. So I would change my mind. Meaning, I would determine to do better, to do differently. And it never lasted, because it was based on my determination, strength and will. It never brought life. It brought struggle and defeat, followed by hopelessness.

Repentance that leads to life has a very important added element. It doesn't rely on us. It matters just as much where we turn as that we desire to turn. We can't simply change direction but must change to the right direction in order to have any meaningful and lasting change of heart and life. Repentance with the usual definition allows that I recognize that I am in the wrong and feel remorse about that. But I also need to see that I am unable to do anything about it. Part of my wrong is more than my choices and nature and attitude. It is my inability to change that. When I turn from my wrong, I must do so by choosing to turn in the direction of life, to Daddy, with the understanding that I am tatolly incapable of doing anything more productive and life changing than to totally lean on and look to His love, mercy and grace for the change that I desire.

When we determine to stop doing wrong, to stop submitting to our addictions and serving our bondage, we set ourselves up for failure. We end up breaking yet another promise to God, to others and to ourselves. But when we turn in surrender to stop the fight and rely on Him, He provides the power to say yes to love and to right. He does the transformation work that we so desperately need. And He takes our mess and gives us a life worth living in its place. That is the only repentance that works, and it takes an understanding of grace. We can't. He can. I'll let Him.


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