Jesus told us to refuse to look back once we put our hand to the plow. Don't feel like He'll reject you if you fail to successfully complete that instruction. We all do. He forgave Peter for denying Him. He forgave me and you and everyone else that's His for all the times we've either looked back over our shoulder, or, worse, released the plow and walked from the field. We've all looked back, and it is only by grace that we have any hope of faithfully walking with God without looking back longingly for the misery of the past. Yes, looking back longingly for the misery of the past. It's human nature, no matter how stupid it sounds. The children of Israel cried out from their slavery to be set free. God set them free. In a matter of months they were remembering fondly the pleasures of the Egyptian food and desiring to return to their captivity. Addicts will forget a hundred days of horrors and hell and the times of begging to be set free or allowed to die before remembering and fantasizing about 5 minutes of rapture. They'll chase that 5 minutes into relapse and the grave, unable to keep from longing for a glorious and wonderful past that didn't exist or was one pixel of pleasure in a huge tapestry of pain. We look back.
There is a reason that God gave us the ability to determine, to set ourself to do a thing. Our will does matter. We are to deny ourselves and take up our cross (die to self, execute the selfish and sinful nature of our carnal being allowing the new spirit within to rise up). We need God's help, power, grace to do this, but we must also do it. There is a point when the self calls and tries to lure us back into captivity with distortions and lies and false memories of pleasure, comfort, ease, security and escape from life and difficulty. There's always that call. Forget doing it God's way, this isn't fun. If you do what you want it will be better. Never mind that living for self never worked before, it will this time. God's not going to help you, so you better help yourself. There is a time when in the grips of fear, feeling pain, under pressure or facing a situation for which there seems no solution or way out, we must choose, use our will, remember our determination and decision, to keep our eyes on Him, to stay surrendered and not take back the reins of our life, to rely on grace and His care to see us through rather than try to manage things for ourselves.
But before that point comes, we do need to make a decision. We must set ourselves to stay in His will, to remain under His control, to be led by His spirit whatever may come. No, we will not be able to follow through on that commitment on our own. But we set ourselves so that when the pressure comes we turn to Him for help rather than running to our default routines which have always failed. And how do we do that? We set our minds on things of the Spirit, through more and more conscious contact with Him and feasting on the truth of His word rather than on the fantasies of the flesh.
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
- Romans 8:5-6
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
- Philippians 4:8
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