And it's not just recovery that gives us issues. Those who aren't in or haven't been in that kind of bondage can have issues as well. Part of the problem comes from society pressure and cultural concepts. A man who cries too quickly or easily or without a darn good reason is seen as week or like something is wrong with them that shouldn't be. Women aren't totally exempt from that either, but they do have a little more leeway than men. And, addict or not, we are living in an instant gratification society. You should feel better right away. If not, if you are sad for more than a very short time, take an anti-depressant for the rest of your life. I'm not knocking psych meds or saying not to take them. There is a time and a place where they may be the way that God helps us, and some may indeed need them for life. But if your father or your dog just died, being sad is the natural response. You don't need a pill. You need to mourn and grieve.
But society and religion say we are supposed to be and look happy. Our lives are supposed to be Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Da and going down the road with a whistle and a song surrounded by singing birds, butterflies and the occasional rainbow and unicorn. Anything less and we feel wrong or defective. Feeling bad or negative emotions means we're not fitting in or complying to the norms. It can make us stand out and draw negative attention. So we wear emotional masks to such an extent that we become dishonest about the way we feel with others, God and even ourselves.
Then, if someone doesn't wear the mask we call them drama queens. Or if we can't force the mask and feel unable to control our feelings we allow ourselves to be identified by them and stay stuck, wallow in that negativity and nurture and feed it rather than just going through that period and moving on. We stuff and stuff and cover up our anger until we can't and we become walking storms blowing through the lives of others and leaving destruction in our wake at the slightest provocation.
We have become so emotionally unhealthy because of trauma, because of the lies of culture and religion, and because we didn't feel unaltered emotions while we tried to fill our God-shaped holes in our spirits and lives with whatever we tried to fill them with. But let us not forget that we are made in the image of God. God has a will. So do we. God has a mind with the ability to think and reason. So do we. God feels. So do we. Jesus got angry and frustrated. Jesus sorrowed and grieved. Jesus felt afraid. Throughout Scripture God is described as having an emotional response to what is happening on earth and with His people. It's OK to feel. It's part of how we are made in the image of God, and some of us are having to learn to feel again and learn to identify those feelings because we've altered them, changed them, covered them, masked them and stuffed them for so long that we don't know how to just feel them. But we can learn. It's part of being honest in relationship with God. It's part of being honest with ourselves and others.
The animals that are the cutest to us are the ones whose eyes are such that they appear to have innocence and a slight sadness to them. If someone truly shows no emotion we instinctively don't like or trust that person. We know better. Emotions are part of life. Sometimes just sitting under a tree watching the clouds drift by and crying through the sadness that we aren't even sure the why or where of is just what we need to do. Because sometimes our emotional mess isn't because of what is going on now but rather because of what we never dealt with, never allowed ourselves to feel, never walked through, grieved, got angry over and moved on from. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. A time to rejoice and a time to mourn. A time to make peace and a time to make war (a time to forgive and a time to be angry?). There is a time to feel and not run away or not feel we're doing wrong by feeling this way or not getting stuck in that place because we're doing everything to deal with what we're going through other than just going through it.
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