I could go on. These are some of the quips and slogans that I saw this morning on social media as I listened to some instrumental music and wondered what I would be writing about today. I don't plan ahead very often or very well. Some days I have a topic pop into mind in that stage I call bedatory, the time after waking but before I can drag my body out of bed. Sometimes I have a rough outline. Sometimes though, like today, I got nothing. You see I rarely do the up and at 'em thing, and I never considered myself a rise and shine kind of guy. I'm more of a force myself to push up through the covers like a zombie rising from the dead, move slowly to the kitchen, pour a pot of coffee, pray and hope for the best kind of guy.
I don't do mornings. I am not a morning person. I don't think as well in the AM hours. I am a natural born night owl. Just ask my mother. I've told myself and others this so many times, that I honestly believe it. I could pass a lie detector test saying nope, I don't function well before noon. Statements about my brain barely working before sunset would likely have passed any evening review of my level of rigorous honesty for the day, at least until today.
I don't think it's entirely true anymore, that I can't function well in the morning or that I don't rise and shine. It struck me, that I rise and write five days a week, and have been for quite a while. I'm not Paul, and none of what I'm penning is going to be in the Holy Scriptures V2, nor am I a Phillip Yancey or a Max Lucado or a Martha Bolton, although I will try to follow the latter's advice and not jump to conclusions without a bungee cord. I do though write almost every day, and more days than not, I am encouraged by the response and the indication that the Unshackled Moment has helped and or encouraged and blessed a few people.
I'm not saying that things have changed without my seeing it or realizing it and now I am all woo hoo it's morning! I want to get up and go! I love the morning!. No. Not at all. When I first felt the call to put out an Unshackled Moment in the mornings, my instinctual response was to write it the evening or night before. I still believe I think better at night, and if left to my own devices and rhythms and without a desire to sync my schedule with Leah's and the need to rise and go through the day as a somewhat normal person, it would not take much time before I began going to bed around four or five in the morning again and not rising until eleven or noon. I really do feel I begin to come alive and am more creative as the sun goes down. So I would prefer to write in the evenings and just slowly wake in the morning and not have to try to think.
God said no. I didn't know why. I know it's not about making things difficult or causing me to suffer just for the heck of it, but sometimes it seems so pointless to have to wait until the morning I am going to post a writing to write it. I finally told myself that it was so that the Holy Spirit could put on my heart what is needed for that moment and morning. But that's a little bogus if you think about it. The Holy Spirit can give me what is needed for someone next Tuesday as I sit here today. For all I know, that is what is happening. God is not hindered by time. I went with that idea though, because it worked better for me than don't ask why; just obey and don't whine. I didn't want to have to write in the mornings. I didn't think it would even be possible for me to faithfully function on that schedule.
Today it occurred to me that is exactly why God set it up this way. God calls us to do something, and it seems impossible, until we look behind us and realize that it's done or being done. Wait. When did that happen? How is it that I have done this or that or the other? I was afraid I wouldn't make it a week, and here it is several years later, and I'm doing it. Everyone thought I would fail, but I've thrived. Or however you ask yourself how it is you're standing closer to the opposite shore than the one behind you and the waters are still parted and the sea bed is still dry. Your life and service to God are flipping miracles, and it happened so slowly and undramatically that you didn't realize it.
We're like parents who know their child is growing but don't really see how much and how fast without looking at the clothing bill or going to visit grandparents who haven't seen the child in months and hear them exclaim their surprise at the huge change and growth they see. I agree with a lot of the inspiration and motivation found in the first paragraph, in a certain spirit and context. But although we can't get stuck in the past, and we must press on toward the goal, live in the present and the now and all that, if we never look behind us, we'll never be surprised at how far God has brought us.
And if those three important words are followed by five more words, by the grace of God, then yes, I can is what we should say when facing Monday, or any other day. But without that other phrase, it's no, I can't. I can't do this without His help. I can't walk with Him. I can't love Him and others as I should, as Jesus does. I can't obey. I can't want to obey. I can't stay sober. I can't get up in the morning and spend the first few hours of my morning praying and writing and somewhat doing the awake and functioning and creative thing. I can't. He can. And then, He gets the glory.
I do rise and shine most days. But not like the sun. Like the moon. I am not a morning person. So if I shine in the morning and what comes from the keys of this keyboard shines a light in the darkness, it's not my light. I have no light of my own, especially in the morning. But I can, by grace, reflect His light. And so can you. That's why God called me to do something so out of the ordinary for me, so contrary to my nature. That's why He calls you to do what feels so daunting. It's not that He's trying to overwhelm you, frighten you or set you up for failure when He tells you to love that annoying person who makes you want to scream, or be patient at Wal-Mart or bring down the walls of your own private Jericho. It's that He wants, when you look back and see the rubble of those walls, you to know only He could've done that.
Are you facing the impossible? Does it all seem just too much? Good. Because that is where you need to be to see the power of God faithfully poured out on your behalf. It's in the revelation of the miraculous that others see the demonstration, the reflection, of the power and love of God. It's all about Him, He gets the glory when we do and go through what we could never do and go through on our own. Be a full moon shining bright even in the morning light. The miracles never happen in our comfort zone. Fear not. He is here with you and with me, and He has a way and a purpose to get us both through this day in a such a way that is amazing. But we must surrender to His will and His plan, remember that we only can with His help and position ourselves in that place of transformation and power that comes from, well, yes, just trusting and obeying.
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