Unshackled Moments ~ August 20, 2018 ~ Serving Through Disappointment

Sometimes I get a glimpse of Jesus as a man, and it blows my mind. The night of the last supper I would have been ticked if I were Him. Ticked off and disappointed.. I have never thought about that night this way before, but now I can't escape the way I would've felt. For three years He'd been teaching these 12 men and leading by example. He had poured Himself into caring for them and preparing them for what was to come when they would become servants and fishers of men.

He taught them to love and to serve. He showed them what it looked like. He told them to be great you must humble yourself and serve, and He showed them what that looked like as well. Jesus must already be starting to stress out some. Jesus stressed out? Yes, we are only a few hours from His sweating drops of blood. That stress didn't miraculously appear, nor did He not already know as they entered the upper room that Judas was about to betray Him, all the disciples would flee and abandon Him, and Peter would do his dance of denial before the night was done.

He's tried several times to tell them what is about to happen, and they are in denial, pretending nothing is changing and He is not going to the cross. This is just another dinner. They aren't supporting Him. They aren't even showing that they've learned and heard  anything. Here they are, three years into the best and most intensive ministry training ever, and what are they doing? Having yet another discussion about which of them will be the greatest.

I don't know how I would've reacted. Maybe I would have told them to eat and went off by myself. Why would I want to spend my last moments of freedom with these guys that are so self focused they can't see what I am going through? Maybe I would have snapped and berated them for not having heard me all the times I said the least, be the least, and stop trying to be great. Serve already. Maybe I would have just gotten quiet and felt sorry for myself that I had spent so much time and energy trying to teach them and guide them and nothing seemed to have changed.

But Jesus kept teaching. He kept showing. He served them and washed their feet. He asked some of them to pray, including them in His spiritual battle, knowing full well they'd fall short yet again and let Him down. He even showed compassion and called Judas friend. And He's done the same with me. He has continued to teach and to guide, thought I have been slow to learn and forgetful of lessons I swore I'd never forget. He has washed me clean and served me, even as my mind was not on following Him but on advancing my own agenda. He has called me friend and embraced me even as as I placed the kiss of betrayal upon His check and thrown Him to the wolves for a cheap and momentary reward. He knew I would face the pressure, buckle like a belt and flee, and yet He called me to Him anyway.

How long do we reach out when people keep slapping the hand away? How long do we keep sharing our experience, strength and hope with someone who says they hear and understand but don't change? How long do we serve someone who only cares about themselves? How long do we stay friends with people who offend and betray? Well, if we're serious about following Jesus, the answer is to death. We do it until the end and leave the results to the work of the Spirit. We love and serve and obey irregardless of their response or lack of.


If your response to that is, "I can't do that!," don't feel alone. That's mine as well. I think it's everyone's who is honest about it. Just like every other aspect of denying self and serving God, we can't do  it on our own. We must rely on grace. We must have the love and power of the Spirit within us do the work through us and for us. It is only by grace that we can serve and love those who do not deserve it.


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