So why isn't this the only show out there that is actually real Reality TV? Because most of the reflection, vocal meditations, whining and preening for the camera that the contestants are involved in is not real. If you listen for half a second, you can't escape the manipulations and lies, and I can't help but wonder if they have told these lies so much that they actually believe themselves. They choose when to turn the cameras on and off, although I am sure that it is in the contract that they must provide a certain amount of footage. That means that they are very aware of the camera being there and on, and that means that they are not alone. Not in the sense that they are acting as though they are alone and no one can see or hear them. Pretending to be alone so that people can watch what you do when you're alone when you are extremely aware of the world watching and listening is seriously not real.
There are some real moments, such as watching some person act tough and unafraid and brag about how they will handle or at least be OK with bears in their area only to later watch them tuck tail and call for the boat after their first encounter with one. But what really makes me ask are you even listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth? is when from day one you see the image being created, where the contestants (I use the plural here because most of them in the first two seasons have done this) begin building their way to fail and or quit and save face at the same time from the start, where the foundation for justification and excuse are created. They all seem to be similar in scope. They are some variation on the I came out here to learn about myself, to gain some spiritual, emotional and or psychological insight. I came out here to show my family I can do this or that and now that I have accomplished those goals and have done what I have set out to do I can quit with my head held high. I can do what I want and give up this fight and struggle because I don't have to make it to the end in order to do what I hoped to do excuse. I wasn't really here for anything other than what I have already done.
Now, not everyone is doing this, at least not obviously, but the majority are, and it makes me want to say to each of them that they are so obviously full of it. Listen, if all you're after is the challenge and the aloneness and the character/spiritual development of the situation, you could do that without the cameras, without the contest. Within an hour's drive of most large cities in this country, and pretty much all smaller cities and rural areas, are places where one can go camp out, and avoid other people almost entirely. You can go try to survive and live off the land in any number of state and national parks and wilderness areas. These people took part in this show for attention and a little "fame" and or in hopes of winning $500,000 for playing an adult version of last man standing. So stop pretending that less than two weeks into it you've accomplished some great spiritual or personal feat and can quit without failing or falling short. Stop pretending it doesn't matter that you are completely ignoring the fact that you can't possibly win if you give up.
Now, please don't get me wrong. I am not criticizing the contestants for doing anything that I don't believe we all do. In fact, I think most of us fail to be honest enough with ourselves and God to be real. Our lives are rarely real. Basically reality isn't real very often. We wear masks, we hide motives, we manipulate circumstances and situations to effect perceptions of who we are and our performance, and as we set out to change our lives, to accomplish some goal or another or to start or stop doing something we also begin laying the foundations of justification and excuses for when we eventually fail. No, we aren't real enough to consider our lives reality very often, not with ourselves, not with our God and not with others.
It's scary to be that real and honest, because when we are we see that we are not good enough to meet our own standards, we see that we do not have what it takes to run the race, to live and do rightly, and there is something within each of us that we are not proud of, that we are not happy with and that just isn't what we wish we were. That's the reality of life. We all have some inner drive to be and do things that we simply can not be or do.
Sometimes we give up and justify not trying anymore, because the struggle to do the impossible is just too difficult. We lower the standards we subconsciously know are the only measure of success. Or at least we try to lower them. But when we do, we are miserable, because deep inside we know that living righteously, with love, with purity in attitudes and motives, is the standard we are born to strive for. Sometimes we try to pretend that we are making a low A, when we know that the truth is that we are usually making a D+ at best. And sometimes, sometimes, we tap into the real solution to our reality problems.
There is a place where we can honestly get real with ourselves and God and acknowledge that the image of ourselves we wish we had and live up to is just not possible but that it comes from an inborn calling to be holy even as our Daddy in heaven is holy. There is no close enough. There is achieving righteousness and running the race to the finish line victorious in our walk with Him and then there is quitting, giving up, settling for less, failing and falling short. There is no middle ground. It's either win or lose and trying to pretend that we aren't in the race to win it doesn't change the reality.
And in that reality, we are all, each and every one of us who ever lived or ever will live, losers. We are all pretenders in life. We are all trying to be and accomplish what we can not. And we are all going to find times when we simply can not go on fighting to be what we hope to be, what we dream of being. We may try to hide our shame and embarrassment by claiming to ourselves that our goal was something different. We might try to lower the standard. We might try to convince God that our motives and drives are different than deep down we know that they are. But when we finally find moments in the dark where we are almost alone, and we take off the masks we hide behind from ourselves, we know the reality of being selfish and self-centered losers, seeking our own comfort and pleasure and acceptance and glory.
But the great news regarding the reality of life is that Jesus came for losers. He loves losers like us. He says to each of us that we have the game goals wrong. The reason that we can never make it on our own, that we can never achieve what we feel like we were meant to in our own strength, ability and determination is that we were never meant to. The game is rigged. Surviving on our own is not possible, nor was it ever part of what life was ever meant to be. Alone is not reality.
Alone is an illusion. The reality is that we are not alone. Ever. We were meant to go through the good times and the bad with our hand in our Daddy's hand getting help from Him to meet our each and every need. It is only in Him and through Him and by His grace that we have a chance of living a life based on honest reality, of seeing our shortcomings and still being able to live up to a humanly impossible standard. His grace makes it possible to change our heart and purify our motives and desires. He inspires the drive to run the race, and only He can help us run it well. We are never alone, and we were never supposed to be.
Today's Unshackled Echo was previously published on
June 11, 2016.
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