I know that truth having an effect is not a testament to the messenger but to the message. God spoke through an ass in the old testament, and from what I've seen and experienced, He still does it today. So while I love that I have been called and used of God, I also realize that it doesn't make me anything that I am not. I am still a man in need of a Savior, and, at times, I can still be little more than a talking or writing donkey. Still, whether it's a donkey or some great orator speaking, a million monkeys randomly hitting keys or the next great writer letting words flow, God protects His Word and makes sure that the seeds of truth are sown.
Jesus said that we will know the truth and the truth shall make us free. First, He didn't say set us free. It's not unlocking a cage and allowing us to walk out of a prison as much as it is transforming and changing us from slave to free, from something that is not and can not be free to something that can't be anything else. The literal Greek of John 8:32 reads... the truth shall be making free or shall be freeing. This is a process, not an instantaneous event. As the truth of God transforms us and renews our minds we are able to live and walk and be more and more like Jesus, by the power of the Spirit because of grace freely and generously given and available to us.
I do firmly believe that if the things I write and preach of were read and listened to regularly and the truths were faithfully applied that the hearer and reader would experience more and more freedom, joy, peace, victory and contentment in life. I believe that. But if you think that means that I am really good at hearing and applying those truths myself, or that I am always free, full of joy and peace and victorious, you are either sadly or hilariously mistaken. In fact, sometimes I fail in such an epic fashion it's embarrassing.
For example, Wednesday evening I preached a message, Family Ties, covering Romans 12:10-13. Included in covering those verses was truth regarding being patient in tribulation and enduring suffering and hardship with hope and not giving way to the enemy. I spoke of our ability to face discouragement in a Godly way and to get through those times. And then yesterday I found myself hurting so much that it literally felt like a weight and pain in my chest as I struggled to catch my breath and tears fell. I hurt and felt so discouraged. In fact, I felt like I was falling to pieces. I felt beaten and broken and discarded with little to no hope of anything being any better any time soon.
Wow. So does that mean that everything I was preaching Wednesday wasn't true or that it might be true if we can access it but only a special few really can? Does it mean I'm a hypocrite? Is it a case of won't you Dear Reader and Dear Listener take my advice, after all I'm not using it? Hey Doc, you're looking pretty sick. Why don't you heal yourself? No, it doesn't mean anything like that, although that thing that wants to destroy my ability to be of maximum service to God and others, that seeks to prevent me or delay my transformation from the slave in Egypt to the free man in the Promised Land would love for me to believe that mess.
After all, what right do I have to declare truth that makes people free and preach the awesome life-changing grace of God available to walk in it, as well as the restoring and healing love of Christ, if I myself fail to walk in it perfectly and have times where I'm a wounded mess? But I'm not going to fall for that discouragement, because it's not freedom making truth. It is designed to reshackle and steal hope. The truth is that I have the right because God says so, and because I have had healing and have experienced the freedom and victory I speak and write of. And if you have ever had freedom from God in an area you were never able to overcome on your own, you also have the right to tell others how you achieved that freedom.
Even when that freedom is not full, the ghost of the chains still lingers and the healing is not yet complete. If we wait until perfection is attained before we declare His power, His glory and His way of life, none of us would be able to say a word. And then as I sat last night, reviewing the day and crying out to God, I realized a couple of other aspects as well.
There's more to it than my not quite being faithful to tap into the available grace and suffering discouragement. We endure the discouragement and suffering, which is another way to say we are patient in tribulation. Logic dictates that if rejoicing in the assurance of what is to come and God's truth gives us the strength and power to endure that there will be times when we will have to endure. Duh. Seriously, there will be times when rejoicing in our hope doesn't make the pain go away, doesn't remove the discouragement. It doesn't say tribulation is gone in an instant. It says we can stand in the midst of it. We can endure it.
Then it hit me, I shouldn't be listening to that voice telling me that I am failing to walk in the truth that I've been given, because it isn't true. Yes, I hurt yesterday. To be honest, I am still hurting some this morning. But I'm sober, and I'm not hung over. I went through an agonizing time yesterday, and it wasn't pretty. I cried. I became despondent. But I didn't run from it. I didn't seek a quick, easy fix. I didn't insist on changing the way I felt with chemicals or any other escape. I endured and cried out to God. The Comforter did come, not to erase the pain like some sort of spiritual opiate, but to soften the ache with love and help me to accept the way I felt.
Sometimes we're going to be discouraged. We're going to hurt. We can indeed go through it. That doesn't mean it will be easy or quickly turned off. That means that we can continue to keep our eyes on God and not run. We can keep the faith instead of turning back to what we knew before. Physician heal thyself doesn't apply, because declaring the truth doesn't make us doctors. We can't heal ourselves, and we can't heal anyone else. Only God can do that. And sometimes that healing comes more slowly than other times. Sometimes that healing involves pain and grief. One day it will be complete and the struggle will indeed be over, but that doesn't mean that there won't be days full of tears and lamentation until then.
Today, join me in clinging to God through the heart ache, rather than demanding that all the pain is instantly removed. Let us remember that we are being restored and made new and made free. and that God's comfort and grace is available. He is crying with us. He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, and peace for despair. But that doesn't mean that there won't be times of mourning and despair or times when we feel like we are being reduced to ash. Victory comes as we learn to lean on Him during the hard times, even when the times remain hard.
As I write this, my chest still hurts a little. I can feel a dull ache in the pit of my being. But I also realize that I am not alone. Not too long ago I would never have known the peace of His presence in such a moment because I would have already sought oblivion. Today I know that I can endure. That deliverance is coming on this side of eternity, despite my not knowing how or when. It's going to be OK, because God is with me. Acknowledging the truth of the pain and discouragement is not a failure to trust Him. And I look forward to the day when all the pain I have caused and all the pain I have endured will be forever healed and wiped away. It's coming for me. It's coming for you. Thank God.
Today's Unshackled Echo was previously published on
June 3, 2016.
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