Although well aware that Jesus was no longer dead and buried but alive, Peter tells his fellow disciples, I'm going fishing, and a couple of them go with him. Now, one thing to keep in mind is that this is not a Hey, it's a nice day to put a line in the water, chill and see what we catch kind of fishing. This was not relaxing after the stress of the past few days, having fun with his friends fishing. Peter was returning to what he knew, to what he was doing before Jesus came by and called him to follow and be a disciple. He returned to his old job, his previous vocation, to doing what he did before relationship with Jesus in order to provide for himself and his family. Peter had been a commercial fisherman, and it was to this that he looked for the answer to his needs when he felt the Jesus thing hadn't and wasn't going to work out.
I'm not sure why Peter felt this way and did this. Sure, if this return to the fishing boats had happened on the Saturday after the crucifixion, I could understand more easily. Jesus was in the ground. All hope seemed to be lost. They believed Jesus to be the Messiah, but He had been nailed to the cross and killed. Now what? But Jesus had resurrected Himself and overcome death. The Messiah had returned, and not only returned but proved His identity and power. Things should have better than they ever had been. Now the disciples could know for sure that the past three years had been well spent learning from the Anointed One, God With Us, who was about to change everything. It was at this point Peter bailed and returned to the path of the past.
Why? I can't say for sure. Only God knows for sure, but I have my suspicions. I suspect that even as he recognized the resurrected Jesus as Lord and God that Peter forgot who Jesus was and is. I think he felt afraid that Jesus would reject him. After all, Jesus had said if you deny Me in front of others I will deny you before My Father, and Peter had denied Jesus three times. I think Peter feared he'd blown it beyond the compassion and forgiveness of Christ. That he had disqualified himself from the discipleship program, flunked out of Christian college and was not longer fit for service or ministry in the name of Jesus. He believed he had burnt the bridge of relationship with Jesus and could no longer be a friend and follower of the Messiah. But he had forgotten that the bridge of relationship between us and the Lord had always been and will always be built from the bricks of God's love, mercy, and compassion for us and not from anything we bring or do. We are simply called to walk across the bridge He built.
Peter messed up, and rather than running to the Risen Lord to be restored, he went back to his old life. And we tend to do the same thing. Well, this God thing isn't working, I blew it and now I'm not worthy to be a follower and friend of Jesus. I can't turn to God, so I guess I might as well go back to....whatever. We all have our own fishing companies. I'll go back to the drugs and alcohol that I used to try to meet my needs with before Jesus called me to follow Him and freed me from that bondage. Or I'll turn to relationships, sex, porn, whatever to change the way I feel and satisfy my longing for connection with my Creator. Or I'll eat a gallon of ice cream to fill the longing in my soul. Or I'll buy....I'll do....I'll go back to whatever wasn't really enough before I found Jesus in the first place. Like, Peter we tend to go back to what we knew when we forget who Jesus is to us and how much He loves us and that He won't leave us, forsake, or reject us or condemn us, even when we screw up, even when we turn away, even when we deny Him and His love for us through our words and deeds.
So Peter and his buddies went fishing, and wasted the entire night. They didn't catch anything. Going back didn't work. It didn't meet the need. There was no success in trying to satisfy and find what they needed and were looking for in looking somewhere they'd already been, in somewhere other than the living Jesus. Speaking of Jesus, He shows up on the beach and calls out to them. How's the fishing boys? Catch anything? Now, Jesus knew that they hadn't caught anything. He knew their motives. He knew what they were trying to do, what they were looking for and what they needed. And no, He wasn't rubbing salt in the wound or trying to condemn them for trying the old way of life again after losing hope in the new way.
But I do think that He was saying, all right guys, you know I'm here, I'm alive, death couldn't end me and the grave couldn't hold me, I am your God and your friend and yet you're trying to find what you need in this again. How's that working for you? After my last relapse over seven years ago, when I'd gotten angry at God and gone back to drinking and drugging, there was a point as I raced toward the grave that the Spirit said that very clearly to me. How's that working for you?
Jesus told them to try the other side of the boat with their nets. Which, despite the ridiculousness of some guy on the beach knowing more about fishing than them and the width of a boat really making that much difference, they did. And they caught more than the nets would hold.
Sometimes what Jesus tells us to do may seem silly, or illogical, or my seem contrary to everything that we know about the situation. And we may mistakenly feel that we know more about our lives and situation than the Lord. But if we listen to Him anyway, He will make clear what He's really trying to say. And that is not that He knows more about where the fish are, or that He's better than us, or that we've been wasting our time and energy and should feel foolish. No, Jesus was saying to Peter and the other disciples, and to us today, I know what you're looking for, and I know what you need, but it's found only in Me. I can provide it.
Are you looking for acceptance? It's found in Jesus. Are you looking for transformation into something new and better than you have been? Jesus can do that. Are you looking for healing and freedom? Also found in Jesus. Relationship? Jesus. Someone who understands and a reason to live and be? Jesus. A purpose? Jesus. Whatever you need and are looking for, it can be found first and foremost in the Risen Lord, and only what we have in Him will truly satisfy and last and not fall short of our need.
The next thing Jesus did was to take the time to restore relationship with Peter. Hey, if you run or swim or however you need to come to me, if you will come, no matter how you've messed up, I still love you, I will restore us, and I can and will still use you. And then one last note, when Peter compared his calling and relationship to the disciple John's, don't worry about the relationship between me and any other disciple, what I do or don't do for or with them. You just love Me and follow Me.
Our relationship with Jesus is the only thing that can and will meet our needs and give us a life worth living, and no matter what we've done, Jesus is all about making our relationship with God possible, and His connection with each of us is unique and special, and we can and should just concentrate on our own relationship with Him. If we do that, we will be a part of Him healing and changing the world. Oh, and for the record, while before the cross Peter fled and denied, he did indeed follow Jesus to prison (more than once) and ultimately to his own cross and death. Those things we wish we were strong enough to do before Jesus die and rose in our lives but failed in, with Jesus, with the Spirit in us that raised Jesus from the dead, we can succeed. It's called grace, the power of God in us and for us to do what we could never before or after for ourselves or on our own.
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