As we watched Childish Things, there was an episode character that showed up. Someone landed themselves a one-shot appearance on Supergirl and then moved on to other things. The character was Agent Carter, who was trying to round up a fugitive toy maker. Something seemed very familiar about the actress to me, it was in the eyes. I knew I recognized her, but I just couldn't figure out who she was or where I knew her from. So, I got on the laptop, pulled up Supergirl on IMDB, found the correct episode and scanned the cast. The problem was that I had missed the name of the character, and no one on the list was called Agent anything. None of the profile pictures looked right either. I pulled up one actress whose hair looked right, but as soon as the page loaded and I could see the full image rather than the thumbnail, I knew it wasn't her. Still, it had been the closest, so I asked Leah's opinion. She agreed. Nope. Not the agent.
A few minutes later, the agent showed up again and someone said her name. Eureka! Now I could look up the actress. I scrolled through the characters until I came to Cameron Chase, glanced to the left at the thumbnail photo. I began to think that I must've been wrong about recognizing her. She looked even less familiar. It not only didn't really look like anyone I was familiar with, it didn't look like Agent Carter...who says Marvel and DC don't have a lot in common, anyway... I checked the name of the actress anyway. Emma Caulfield. Then I knew!
I felt shocked that it had taken me so long to figure out and that I hadn't recognized her right away, but at the same time I felt vindicated. I knew that I knew who she was. Some may know Caulfield from her role as the Blind Witch on Once Upon A Time, and soap fans may know her from her 39 episode stint on General Hospital, but geeks like me will always know her as Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Once I made the connection, I couldn't see anything else. Every time Agent Carter showed up, I saw Anya.
Now, what does this little look into my neurosis with trying to figure out where I've seen actors and actresses before (my wife has witnessed numerous scenes like the one above over the years) have to do with anything? Often people are hard to recognize outside of the situations and environments we knew them in. Yesterday, I and two others were speaking with a lawyer, and at the start of the conversation he was having an Anya moment like mine. He kept asking questions of one of the people with me to try to figure out if he indeed knew her from somewhere before, and if so, where. Finally, when she answered his question about where she worked he remembered. It became crystal clear. He was a former client of the place she works at. Seeing her outside of work made him unable to realize where he recognized her from. Sometimes when I am having one of these obsessions with recognition with a character who appears in a movie or television show it's the voice that sets me off. I don't really recognize their look at all, but once they speak, I'm all, I know that voice. Who is that? Where do I know that actor from? And usually, once I investigate, as with Caulfield, once I know, once I see it, I can't unsee it.
I thought about that as I drove back to the house from taking Leah to work this morning. I began praying that God would help me to live in such a way that I cause people to have recognizing Anya moments when they encounter me. I pray the same for you, Dear Reader. Let's be so filled with and controlled by the Spirit, that when people see us and hear us speak, there's just something familiar or that something inside them has this instinctual moment of recognition. Wouldn't it be cool if even strangers and people we just met were like I recognize something about you, do I know you from somewhere? And then, as they investigate, as they watch intently trying to figure it out or ask questions or spend more time around us, at some point, it hits them. They're not recognizing us. They're seeing Jesus in us. The love of God so evident that it makes us seem familiar. And then, the Spirit helps us live in such a way that once they see it, once they recognize Jesus in us, they can't escape it, can't not see it any more.
I want to live like that, today and every day. No matter where I may find myself or in what situation, no matter how I may be dressed or what I look like, no matter what I am saying, I would love for there to be something familiar in the eyes, something about the tone of my voice, something familiar, and I want that something to be the love of Jesus. I know it can happen. I know it is a natural by-product of being so surrendered to the love, will and care of God that I become less visible as the bondage of self in me is broken and my life shines with the light from within.
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