I realized as he said this that I am the same way, and I do not believe that this trait is unique to addicts and alcoholics. I am pretty sure that it is a human character defect. We believe comfortable and pleasurable is always good and discomfort and pain is always bad. But those definitions of good and evil don't always mesh with what is in our best interests.
Take the Israelites. When God spoke to Moses to reveal that the time had come to deliver the Jews from slavery in Egypt, God said he head their cries and was aware of their suffering. Yet, he had let them be slaves for nearly 400 years. How is that love? How was their misery and servitude what was best for them. Why didn't God get them out more quickly. Generations died never knowing the redemption promise. But it was love and what was best. God sent them to Egypt to save a large family He had chosen as His own from disaster, destruction and death. Then, He kept them there, to grow large in number under the protection of the greatest empire of the time. They were safe from enemies, fed and provided for. Was it fun? No, but the struggle to survive surrounded by enemies would have been worse, especially before the increase in their numbers. It was hard enough to stay safe and provided for after they were freed that many looked back and asked why they ever left Egypt. Their time in Egypt made it crystal clear that they needed God and could not rely on their own strength, riches or power.
I can relate. There are still days I curse the days of my incarceration. There are negative consequences associated with that time that still interfere with my life nearly nine years after being released. But when I get honest, I am quite sure that my arrest and imprisonment saved my life. It became one of the first steps on a journey that took me to what I most needed, relationship with my Heavenly Daddy. And the events of that time and the difficulties after have made it easier for me to see, understand and remember that I need God. I can't do this on my own. I can't provide for my needs or make myself free. And, like my friend, it becomes obvious in retrospect that I do not always know and understand what is best or good for me as it is happening.
As I began meditating on this idea, I couldn't help but think of one of the most popular verses in Scripture, and one of the verses most taken out of context. Jeremiah 29:11 -
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
We love that verse. We like to think God is saying this of us, and by the way, contrary to some who complain about this being taken out of context, I do feel it applies to all believers, because while it is about a specific group at a specific time, the Scriptures are both historical and allegorical at the same time. What I mean by that is that this happened to a specific group, but it also serves as an illustration of our relationship with God and the way He cares for us. And that brings us back to this meme, T-shirt slogan, bumper sticker, feel good verse. Do you really want this applied to your life? I know it sounds great. It's wonderful. God has thoughts of peace and not evil towards His people and plans to give us a future and a hope.
Before you say sign me up, ask yourself why He has to tell them this in the first place. He says this so that they'll know it's true.....because they won't be able to see it, feel it, or comprehend it for themselves from their experience. They are about to suffer 70 years in bondage as prisoners of war. They're going to be beaten in battle, whipped, taken captive and suffer for longer than many of them will live. They will think all hope is gone. They will believe that they are rejected by and hated of God, but then they will be told no, that God said He loved them and would return them to Him and the Land of Promise. Don't read verse 11 without reading verse 10: For thus says the Lord: After seventy years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform My good word toward you, and cause you to return to this place.
But in my experience getting caught, being whipped and coming to have my illusions of control and ability to manage my life shattered, the suffering and hell of seven and a half years in prison that caused me to cry out to God and made me, with the desperation of a drowning man, willing to try anything, even relationship with God to prevent my return to incarceration all came from God putting an end to my running and rebellion, not by choosing to punish me, but by, out of love, not getting in the way and allowing me to suffer the natural consequences to the choices and life I had been leading. It was love. It was the way that brought me peace. It was used for my good, though it felt like evil. It gave me a future and a present life worth living. And I would never have believed it at the time, never have been able to see it.
When I was a baby, my parents and I lived in a tiny little house. There simply was no room. The only option for placement of my high chair in the kitchen put me near the stove. I love fire. Evidently always have. I'm not a pyro, but I love to watch it. There's something beautiful and awesome and peaceful about the flames. Anyway, I would reach out for the burner of the stove. No mater how often my mom or dad would swat my hand or tell me no, I would stretch and strive to touch the pretty flame. My parents were not so much worried that I would get burned but rather that I would topple the high chair reaching out to the side the way I did. So my dad scooted me closer to the stove. Closer? Yep. I reached out and stuck my fingers in the fire....then I jerked them back. And that simple first degree, no blister burn, that made me scream and cry, also changed my behavior permanently. It was a good thing and did what hand swatting and saying no never did or could, it made me stop reaching for the fire.
God does have wonderful plans for us all, and He desires peace with us and for us. He does plan to give us life, and life so abundant that it can be shared with others, that would be a future worth hoping for and can be a present for today as well. But that doesn't mean life will be rosy or look or feel victorious. Sometimes what is best for us doesn't look or sound or feel good. It's God saying OK, if you're going to insist of living life your way, I love you enough to stop protecting you from the results of that. Sometimes the most loving thing God can do is to let us suffer a while so that we can have and appreciate freedom later. Sometimes what is good can only be seen as good in retrospect or when it is pointed out to us.
So, if life is hard and sucks, don't assume that means God doesn't care. It doesn't mean He doesn't love you, and it doesn't mean that God doesn't want what is good and best for you. Sometimes the suffering is exactly what will bring you hope. And it doesn't always mean that you've been out of line. The slavery of the Jews in Egypt wasn't like Babylon, it wasn't because they were out of line. It simply was the best way to cause their growth while keeping them relatively safe, while showing them they needed relationship with and help from Daddy, until the time was right for them to step out free and demonstrate through their lives the awesome power, glory and love of God. We have a future and a hope, and a life worth living that is a demonstration of His power, His glory, His love, and His way of life....and sometimes that life is so hard God has to tell us He loves us or we won't be able to see it. But it's true. God loves you as you are, not as you should be, but He loves you enough not to leave you the way that you are.
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