Yesterday, moments after my phone battery beeped its way into the red zone, I received a text from Leah. She had an appointment that morning, and I had asked her how it went and told her I love her. She answered that it had gone long. Then she sent THE TEXT...the one that said when she got done she needed to call me. Key suspense building music. Texts like this are rarely good news. Then, the music in my mind became more ominous as she sent an additional text saying it's important.
Great. Something at least not good is going on, at worst something quite bad. Now my phone has less than 12% power and won't last long. I can't turn it off to save juice because I don't know when she'll be done. It's not too long though. As my wife tells me about the "mild" form of glaucoma she has and the emergency surgery she needs to have Wednesday, I'm trying to listen to her while also trying to get my phone off mute. My phone starts acting seriously weird whenever the battery gets critically low. I realized something was wrong when I asked the same question the second time, and she continued to talk without pause or concern for what I was asking. Then it became a bad commercial with me hitting buttons and asking, "Can you hear me now?" It didn't occur to me until later that not only had she not heard my question, but she had not heard any of my support and reassurance before I finally got the mute off either.
More importantly, I realized that she didn't really need it. She'd already received the support and reassurance she needed from the Holy Spirit. Now, she still has mine, and I am sure that will bless her, but her needs are met. I came to this revelation when I asked her how her daughter was handling the news after the explanatory phone call yesterday evening. "She's fine ," Leah informed me. "She's not worried because her momma's not worried." It hit me just how much Leah has changed over the past five years in regards to her relationship with God.
Relationship rather than religion made the difference between peace and panic yesterday. When our relationship began, Leah was very religious minded. Now, I'm not saying she was very religious. She avoided religion and God like the family in a Gothic horror avoids the wing of the mansion where that bad thing happened. But when she thought about God it was with a religious, legalistic , who is that mad-man-in-the sky? mindset. When something good happened she waited for God to punish her for enjoying it too much or balance the scales by making it less good or giving something bad. If something bad could happen it was time to try to appease the bully above so that he wouldn't follow though on the threat.
Five years ago, this news of an incurable eye disease that if untreated could lead to blindness and if the treatment goes wrong could lead to blindness would have produced panic and the specter of the worst case scenario springing from every dark corner of her mind. I'd have spent the whole night holding her and trying to assure her that God's not out to get her for not ever being good enough and that this isn't punishment for being happy and enjoying life too much. Yesterday she needed neither. She smiled, told me what was going to happen, talked to her children and her father about it, and then we cuddled up and watched a Halloween movie. No big deal. Because today she sees how much can go right as much, if not more, than how much can go wrong. Yesterday she saw a blessing in being in the rare 10% of cases involving this. Most cases aren't symptomatic of the pain she's been having for a few months. That pain pushed her to the doctor and to an early diagnosis, which improves everything. Most importantly, she sees a Daddy who loves and cares for her rather than an abusive bully sitting in the big easy chair in the sky waiting for her to step out of line so he can beat her some more.
Now, if she gets scared tomorrow before the surgery I'll be there for her. And I'll hug her and tell it's all going to be OK. But she really doesn't need me to. She informed me last night that she intended to drive herself to and from the surgery and didn't need anyone to take her. OK, so I'm the needy one now and need to be there just on the off chance she does need me. The trickle effect of the growing awareness of her Daddy's love superseding the concept of a father's wrath has opened her up to the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit's gift of peace. Just one example of many of the benefits of relationship over religion and superstition.
Leah traded in a superstitious relationship with religion and the panic it produced for a relationship with a loving Daddy and the peace He brings that passes all understanding. She traded in trusting Him for her needs rather than appeasing for protection. And by doing so she reminded me of the power in having the right perspective. Today I want to follow her example. I want to keep the right perspective of who God is and how He loves me as the filter through which all the events of the day pass through. Let us all do that and receive the refreshing fruit juice of the Spirit's peace, joy and love no matter what lemons the world hands us.
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