Loving God and loving others is essential to spiritual growth and health. That is the heart of what we are called to do, the sum of the law. Jesus lived a life of service, and we are to follow His example. But when it comes to doing things for others, motive makes all the difference. Perhaps it might not matter to the one being served. They may never know the true why of our service for them. But people can usually tell when someone is doing something for them out of love verses out of trying to get something from them. We are to give the love of Christ to those we encounter and those we serve.
But our motives also effect whether the service will get us out of self or wrap the chains of self tighter. The question that needs to be answered is are we serving, are we doing for others, because we are loved or so we will be loved? To do things for others in order to earn approval and love is a trap that makes the bondage to self worse and keeps us stressed and miserable. If we are doing things to get someone to notice, appreciate, care for, respect, praise and love us, we are placing a burden of expectation on ourselves and on the other person that sooner or later will lead to failure. We are going to fall short of doing what it takes to gain those things from the person we are doing things for, and they are going to fall short of returning what we feel we deserve for what we have done. When we do things to gain love from another person and feel unappreciated and that the love is not being given it causes fear and anger. Anger that we are not getting back what we should, and fear that we never will.
But serving because we are loved is freeing. Doing for others without expectation or demands of returns from them takes pressure off of both of us. It's no longer about what we can get or have to gain but simply about what we can give and sharing what we have found and been given. God loves us, deeply and freely. When we understand that truth and that we didn't do anything to earn, deserve, or keep that love, it makes us want to love others the same way, without them having to earn, deserve or do something to keep it. We lavish on others with our service the grace we ourselves are so grateful for and still desperately need.
When my motivation is that I am loved, I can just be who I am, receive correction without devastation and praise without getting the big head, giving God the glory. But when my motivation is to get love, I have to build myself up and try to hide my flaws and shortcomings. That's a lot of pressure to keep the mask from tarnishing. When I know that I am loved I can give my cares and worries and anxieties to Him, but when I am trying to earn love my anxieties are worsened because they are dependent upon my performance.
Today let us do what we do and serve those we give to out of an understanding that we are loved by God, loved as we are not as we should be, rather than trying to manipulate or coerce any certain response from others.
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