This morning I read one of my devotional emails and clicked on the next email in line when done. As it opened, I knew I had opened one of the author emails, which I don't normally do during morning devotions and ministry time. I glimpsed the start of the email even as I moved to click on through to the next and stopped to read the rest. I am now trying to decide if I will unsubscribe from this particular author or not. On one hand, to reject someone because they rubbed you the wrong way is not a great example of walking in grace. On the other hand, I only get the emails in hopes of receiving free and discounted books, so it's not rejecting relationship as much as rejecting wasting my reading time, and possibly money, on an author I doubt I'll enjoy. I didn't remember if this was one of the secular or Christian authors, but it really doesn't matter.
Still, whatever I decide after I have given it a little time to think about it and get some input from the Spirit, I am grateful that I got on the list, because it reminded me of something important. Motivation matters, but perception matters almost as much. I need to be careful how I respond to my own self-centeredness because it could push people away. If we fake it till we make it, most people will only see a fake. Let me explain what happened and see if I can make what I am trying to get across more clear.
The first thing that rubbed me wrong was that the email was addressed to My Wonderful Fan. Being called wonderful doesn't distract me from the fact that an author I have never read or heard of outside of this contest just assumed I was a fan. Yes, I got on the silly mailing list, but that doesn't mean I'm a fan. I was barely curious. I'm just a sucker for free books, which the publishing company's advertising department was counting on. None of the other authors did that. There was a lot of thank you for joining my mailing list, if you are unfamiliar with my work here's a link.....
Then the body of the email began....
First, I would like to say that if you or any of your loved ones have been affected by Hurricane Harvey, I am very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
That said, I am writing you about the fifth book in my new series, [omitted]. You can pick up your copy right now for just 99 cents! It is also available to read for free with Kindle Unlimited.
OK, the truth is that I have no idea how this person really feels or their motives. Yes, I know that their motives are to sell the new book, that's a given, but I can't speak to the motives regarding what was said about/to those affected by Harvey, which is not me despite how hard the wind is blowing right now. We're getting some rain and wind gusts, but 175 miles north of Houston we're safe and sound and were never in any danger of it being otherwise. There may be some trees coming down due to the saturated ground, and those living closer to some of the rivers face flooding. But other than having to deal with multiple days dripping drizzle and grey sunless skies I'm not affected by Harvey. I have family and friends that are though, and I don't think it would have mattered if I didn't. I think this would have bothered me regardless. I can't speak to tone or motives, but I know how I perceived this, first impression, how it struck me.
It was two words that messed it up for me. That said.... To me it came across like lots of people are affected by this or concerned for folks that are, so I better show some concern. Now that that's out of the way let me get to what I really care about. When it comes to business relationships I don't care if you do or don't care about Harvey. I don't care if you do or don't care about me. I do care if you pretend to care just to manipulate or try to sell me. If this had started with Hey, my new book is only 99 cents today! I would have thought no ill and just checked out the book to see if I wanted it. But here something was brought up to connect emotionally with people and show your care and concern before tarnishing it with using That said, making it seem a throw away unimportant thing to mention Harvey at all. I know I am nitpicking word choice, but the person is an author after all. Word choice matters, and yes, I realize I make mistakes in this area myself.
And that's the point. I know I make the same mistakes. Sometimes I make poor word choices with writing and choosing titles. But other times I make the mistake that it felt to me that this author made. I am not worried about someone. I am not being caring. I am listening only so I know when to talk. I know I am supposed to care, so I am trying to act as though I do, but really my concern and attention is on my own agenda. I hate admitting such self-centeredness. I pray that I continue to progress in relationship with God until my life is filled constantly with true compassion and concern for others rather than myself. Love God and love others. It's what we're called to and what I want to do. But sometimes I fall short. Sometimes I get stuck in self, and when I do, what others are feeling and going through is less important to me than what I am.
That's when we get tempted to fake it till we make it. I am supposed to love others. I know it's the right thing to do. I want to appear like I am doing that, even when I don't, because I want to choose God's will and obedience, and I don't want to act unloving and push anyone away from Jesus or fail to serve as He would have me when I am not where I need to be spiritually. So it is tempting to put on the caring mask and go through the motions, even when my mind and heart are really somewhere else. But the truth is people can tell when you're pretending to care, and it hurts more than just having someone just be honest about being concerned about something else.
The fake it till you make it mentality in service and compassion is backwards. This is exactly what Jesus spoke of when He told the Pharisees that they made the outside look good but within were dead. He called them whitewashed tombs. Man looks on the outside but God looks at the heart. And it is the heart that matters. It's good when we can recognize that even if we are not where we should be that we should obey, serve and not be selfish. It's good to choose to obey, even when we don't really want to or feel it. Sometimes love is a choice. Love God and love others. But when we are having to choose it over our own emotions and selfishness, let's do something different than pretending. Let's not fake it till we make it. Instead, let us ask the Spirit to change out hearts and renew a right Spirit within us. Let's throw away the masks and the pretending and let God move our hearts and spirits back into position. Let us let Daddy do whatever He needs to do so that we truly feel the love of Christ for those we encounter instead of staying stuck in our self. When Jesus is loving through us, we don't have to worry about people perceiving our pretense and being pushed away instead of drawn to Daddy.
This site is free. If this blessed, helped and or informed you, the best thing you can do is pass it on via the social buttons below. And please subscribe or follow Unshackled Life Ministries on Facebook.
Unshackled Life Ministries is grateful for every person that reads the daily Unshackled Moments, the weekly Unshackled Echo and or listens to the Audio Messages. I want to thank those who have clicked "like" on something that blessed or ministered to them on social media, commented on the blog or replied to an email subscription. It is encouraging to know that God is using this ministry to help and bless others. Please remember that if God used something from this ministry to help, encourage or bless you, it could also bless someone else. Would you help get the devotions and sermons to more people by sharing this? Hitting the share button or forwarding this to a friend will help us reach more people with the good news of freedom and the encouragement to live an Unshackled Life. Thank you and God bless.
No comments:
Post a Comment