I don't know why, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that I am learning to simply speak and write on whatever the Holy Spirit gives me, regardless of whether I have ever covered it before, no matter if it doesn't fall neatly into the box of recovery and doesn't fit nicely under the umbrella of how I see my calling. Perhaps the area I am called to minister in is growing and expanding? Maybe it's more that God is teaching me not to put Him or the ministry in the borders of a box that I can't ever exceed? Maybe some of these non-recovery themes are simply something that I needed and something that at least one other person needed to see or hear? I don't know. I am learning and slowly becoming more comfortable with just covering whatever God puts on my heart. Part of denying self and following Jesus, of surrendering to the care and will of the God who loves us, is stepping outside of our comfort zone and going where He leads and sends, to do and say what He wants us to. In other words, one of the keys to freedom and discipleship is obedience. It takes a lot of strength and trust to simply follow Jesus and to let the Holy Spirit lead, guide and direct us when He refuses to stay in the situations we feel comfortable and confident in.
And that is what meekness is all about, obedience that conflicts with instinct and comfort. If God told me to spend time with someone by watching a football game with them, I'd be all, "Sure, Lord! No problem!" That would be similar to letting the reins loose on a horse that loves to run and calling it obedience when the stride goes from a gallop to full speed. But it takes grace, the strength of the Spirit within me that I do not have on my own, and trust in His leading to surrender my selfish will and desire in order to step out in love to care for someone that I may not like or who has hurt me or to spend time doing something that I do not want or like to do or don't feel confident in my ability to do well.
Meekness is not submitting to abuse or allowing yourself to be put down and used by whoever is strong. Meekness is not a synonym for weakness. It's not being a doormat. It's not going with the flow and refusing to make waves. It's not inheriting the earth you allow others to bury you in. Being a people pleaser and letting the opinions and will of the people around you dictate your life is not being meek. It's being foolish. Meekness is strength and power and will under control.
But not just any control and certainly not under everyone else's control. The word Jesus used for meek when He said the meek shall inherit the earth is the same word used to describe a war horse. There's nothing weak about a war horse. And he is not submitted to the will and whim of just anyone. Circumstances like rough terrain and fire or the shouts and threats of the enemy don't phase a warhorse. Infantry soldiers were terrified of war horses. They were strong and powerful and dangerous and not easily diverted. They would charge into situations that average horses would bolt from by instinct. And they were the epitome of meekness, because they didn't choose when and where to charge, what difficulty to push through, what part of the enemies lines to trample beneath their hooves. They were completely surrendered to the control of the one riding them. They submitted, through practice and training, their desires, instincts and abilities to the command of another, but of one specific another. They spent so much time with the cavalryman they teamed with that their actions became an extension of his will.
It is easy to go with the flow of society and public opinion. It is easy to avoid conflict and compromise. It takes strength and courage to face to fire and the spears and stand against opposition, to go into areas of danger and uncertainty in order to go where the Master sends. It takes a lot of trust in the protection and care of Daddy for us to love those who don't love us and may try to hurt us mentally, emotionally and, even, physically. It takes trust and courage and refusing to listen to our own instincts to walk around a wall, blow a trumpet and believe it will fall instead of either fleeing that stronger force or fighting with our own weapons and abilities and understanding. Meekness is simply saying "God, I give all of me, the good and the bad, to You to do with as You will, whether I am comfortable with Your plans or understand them or not. Remove from me my selfishness and desire to reflexively obey my instincts rather than Your voice so that I may be of maximum service to You and my fellows. May I do Your will always."
So, today and every day, let us be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, and may we pair that strength with meekness so that every step, every word, thought and deed, is under the reins of His will and direction rather than us taking the bit in our mouths and running with it.
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